margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
