Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize