The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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