You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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