How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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