Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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