It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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