she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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