I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
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