you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
