just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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