Pappa wants mamma naked
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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