so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
