what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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