Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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