dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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