College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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