Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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