Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
