Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
