The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
