I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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