Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
