He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
