once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Why donโt they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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