I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
