I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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