You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't deserve a penis
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
