I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
