Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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