In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
