i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
