nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
