batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im holly from the hills drunk
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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