im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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