ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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