wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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