do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much rum. So many feels.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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