hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
