but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
