I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
