How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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