You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
