i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
