So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
