she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
