At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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