U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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