Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
