TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize