there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
