Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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