i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
