Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
