she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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