Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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