he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
