the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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