So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
